Porsha Williams revealed in her new memoir, “The Pursuit of Porsha,” that her chaotic and destructive sexual relationship with R. Kelly left her traumatized.
According to Variety, “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” star claimed in the book that the “Ignition” singer — who was found guilty of sex trafficking in September — trapped her in a bedroom in his house before propositioning her and putting her under pressure to submit to him.
“I’ve already put myself in this position. This is what you’re supposed to do. You have to,” Williams, now 40, wrote in her book, according to excerpts published by Variety.
“I had my own business, I had my own home. It was a mentality that has been conditioned over the years by men that they are better than me. And I only have value if they say I have value. I think me being in that weakened mindset made me ready and available for him to be a predator, and seek me out,” She continued.
For Williams, it wasn’t so much about Kelly’s celebrity as it was about how she had a pattern of self-destructive tendencies.
“It’s not just that he was R. Kelly. It’s just in my life at that moment, it was just yet another man in the same position doing the exact same thing taking advantage of me,” she wrote.
Williams recalled her last visit to Kelly’s house, where she said “twenty or thirty other girls” were present for his “party,” with some staying for weeks.
She claims she heard screaming and the sounds of a woman being beaten at the gathering and demanded that she leave. Kelly allegedly called Williams several times after that, but each time she allegedly told him, “I’m done with you.”
“When I got home from that last encounter, I knew I had hit a wall. And I was completely traumatized, completely confused about why this was now happening to me again as a grown woman,” she said.
Porsha Williams was forced to face Kelly one more time years later when she was a host on “Dish Nation” and the singer appeared as a guest in 2015.
“What is so freaking crazy is that he literally tried to talk to me again!” Williams said. “And I thought to myself, ‘Oh my god. I went through one of the most traumatizing experiences in my life at your home with you, and you don’t remember me? This has happened that many times that you don’t remember that I’m that same person?’”
To get through the show she said, “I just went back to a common practice in my life of just putting on a mask, and playing the role. And so I just played the role of Porsha on ‘Dish Nation.’”
She only told one friend about her alleged sexual relationship with R. Kelly for her own safety at the time, but when the FBI showed up on her doorstep, she fully cooperated.
“When the FBI left my house that day, I was so grateful for where God had brought me — oh my God.” “I literally could have had church in my foyer. I had to be Porsha during our conversation in order to remember every single detail.” But after they left, I just looked around my house, later saw my daughter, and thanked God for just surviving and being where I am today,” she explained.
Kelly was found guilty in September of sexually abusing women, boys, and girls for decades and was convicted on all nine counts against him, including racketeering and violating the Mann Act, which prohibits the transportation of “any woman or girl” across state lines for an “immoral purpose.”